And look how far I've come...

I've just hit a little over the 5 month mark of living in Israel. How crazy! So much has changed over the past few months that it makes my head spin.

School has been going well. It always takes me a moment to realize, but I have learned a lot since being here both about myself and academically. I now know so much about Jewish music. I can't wait to be in a setting where I have the opportunity to share all of this wonderful information! I keep on imagining different workshops and adult ed. sessions on Jewish music. And it's only 5 months into this fantastic journey! I can't wait to learn more and continue building my repertoire of information and music. My Hebrew has also significantly improved since arriving. The words suddenly just come out of my mouth with much more ease than ever before. I'm still, of course, grasping for words, but I can carry on a conversation with relative ease. It's a great feeling to have.

I've also begun learning and realizing things about myself. Like I said last week, I'm beginning to find that I can pray in almost any setting. Moreover, I really like praying and having the Hebrew words in front of me. Recently in class we learned how to chant the entire weekday amidah. I find this to be such a calming idea. I try every day to read the amidah through. I can't entirely explain why, but it centers me in a really nice way. I really like creating different prayer experiences as well. I'm currently preparing to lead my second shacharit service of the year this coming Monday. I picked out all of the music that I want to use. I also had the idea to include more musical instruments. There's a rabbinical student that plays clarinet and Rachel (the rabbinical student I'm leading with) plays the guitar. They're playing on Debbie Friedman's arrangement of Asher Yatzar/Elohai Neshamah with the piano. Jim (the clarinetist) will also be accompanying a niggun and the beginning of the service and Adon Olam (with a fun klezmer feel) at the end of the service. I'm so excited! The Shacharit service for me is all about waking about and preparing to begin your day. The music that I have prepared seems to do exactly that.

The very first full day I was in Israel, I went by HUC and noticed a posting of all the cantorial concerts this year. I remember very vividly thinking, "Oh my God, what did I just get myself into?" Last night was that concert and I was prepared and did wonderfully. I can't believe how far musicially I have come as well. I can feel my voice getting stronger and more consistent every day. I know that I still have a ways to go, but I'm well on my way.

It's a nice feeling of peace to come to the conclusion that I can live away from home in a different country. It's by no means easy and I've battled with my bout of homesickness. But I know that I've grown and that's a wonderful feeling to have. Shabbat Shalom!